


A Wasteland Of Dreams

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-08
Updated: 2006-03-08
Packaged: 2018-08-16 03:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8085331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: T'Pol experiences her Pon Farr due to mysterious circumstances. Includes T'Pol/m. (08/10/2003)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: Spoilers, 1.08 "Breaking The Ice."  
  
This is in response to the Pon Farr challenge issued on the CAVe group. Hope you like. And remember, please feed the author.  
  
Thanks to Kat for the beta job she did on this.  


* * *

She wiped her hand over her forehead and rubbed the sand out of her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm the rushing blood and heat in her veins. Looking around, she squinted into the barren desert, a wasteland of sand and rock.

Why was she here?

She took a step and turned around as she heard someone call her name from somewhere behind her. Blinking, she started to follow the voice, glancing around for the source of the voice.

Suddenly, a deep burning pain erupted in her head. It felt like there was a creature inside, trying to push its way out. Clamping down on the sides of her head with her hands, she let out a primal scream and fell to her knees.

The wind blew her scream away...

* * *

T'Pol gasped and jerked up into a sitting position. The starlight illuminated the room only barely, but she was able to see that she was alone in the room. Why did it feel like there was someone in there with her?

Raising the sheet from her body, she rose and made her way to the bathroom. She pressed the button on the wall, and the lights flashed on. Her pupils retracted at the bombardment of bright light, and her inner eyelid closed over her eyes. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and then opened them slowly, letting them adjust to the light. Stepping closer to the mirror above the sink, she took a second to take in her appearance. Her hair was disheveled, and her skin had a pale green flush to it. She raised her hand to her forehead and rubbed. Her head still hurt from the dream that had awoken her. It was the same dream she had been having for 3 nights now, only this time it was much more intense. Turning the faucet on, she bent down and splashed the cold water onto her face. She took a deep breath, calming down her rushing blood. Slowly, she made her way back to her bed, thinking more about the dream. Whose voice had she heard? That had never happened before.

Resolving herself that she would go to Doctor Phlox in the morning, she rolled over and fell back into a deep sleep.

Captain Archer sat in his dining room feasting on the scrambled egg and bacon Chef had prepared. He had to admit the man knew how to cook. Even the smallest meals, the blandest foods, were prepared to taste like a gourmet meal. Either that or he had been in space too long. He closed his eyes as he bit down on a slice of bacon. Mmm...heaven. The door to his dining room opened and he looked up and smiled as Commander Tucker walked in. "Mornin' Cap'n." Trip acknowledged him and sat down, as a steward placed his plate on the table in front of his chair. Archer smiled and said hello. "Where's T'Pol?" Trip asked as he took a bit of eggs, closing his eyes and murmuring his pleasure for the taste.

Archer grinned and took a sip of his juice. "She said she had to see the Doctor this morning." Archer replied.

"Ah. Something wrong?" Trip asked.

"I don't think so. She just said something about a headache."

"Oh. Okay." Trip took another bite, then, after a beat, "So, I watched that water polo game you sent me. Pretty good stuff."

The two officers settled into a comfortable conversation for the remainder of the meal. After breakfast, the two parted and Archer made his way to the bridge. As the turbolift doors opened, he glanced over at T'Pol's station. He was surprised to see her there already, but then again, with a headache the doctor would have just given her a hypospray and let her on her way. She looked up at him and nodded her greeting. He smiled back and nodded in return.

"Is your headache gone?" He asked as he walked over to his chair.

"Yes sir. Doctor Phlox administered a hypospray and it relieved the pressure." She answered.

"Good." He finished and turned towards the veiwscreen. There didn't appear to be anything of interest ahead except for the millions of stars that graced the screen everyday. He turned back towards T'Pol.

"Do you see anything interesting out there?" He asked, hoping against hope that there would be something of interest.

"There is a class M planet in the next solar system that might be of interest, but at this distance I cannot be sure." She replied.

"Alright then, Mr. Mayweather, plot a course for those coordinates. Let's see what's out there shall we." Archer smiled.

"Yes sir." Mayweather acknowledged and soon they were headed for the planet.

Archer strode onto the bridge once again, after sitting in his ready room for the past two hours.

"Report." He commanded and T'Pol spoke up.

"We are nearing the planet sir and it is indeed inhabited. It is a pre warp society, but with some space travel ability. It appears that this society has the abilities yours did in your late 20th century."

"Do we know what they look like?" He asked.

"Negative sir, we can't see that far onto the planets surface at this distance." She replied.

"Alright, let's get a little closer, but not too close. We don't want them seeing us right now." Archer sat down in his chair and looked at the planet before him. It didn't look anything like Earth. It was a red planet, and there didn't seem like there was any water on the surface. Only a few small lakes and oceans dotted the surface at the poles. It reminded him of pictures he had seen of Vulcan. He turned towards T'Pol and saw her staring at the planet as well. "Sub-commander?" He asked as he saw her brows knit together, like she was in pain.

She looked over at him, her calm rational face back in place. "Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yes sir. I was just looking at the planet. It looks remarkably like Vulcan." She turned back towards the screen. He nodded and turned away.

"Sir, there is something coming up from the surface." Hoshi said.

"What? What is it?" He asked.

The veiwscreen in front of him blinked and then zoomed in on the craft. He let out a small laugh and looked around the bridge. The rest of the crew, except T'Pol, were all smiling as well. The craft looked very much like one of those ancient space shuttles that Earth used to send up. The crew watched as the shuttle docked at a station in orbit around the planet.

"Alright, well they seem to be doing fine on their own. Let's get out of here before they notice us." Archer said and soon the Enterprise was on its way once more.

She was feeling much better now that the day was over and she had finished her nightly meditation. Opening her closet, she took out her turquoise silk pajamas. Raising her hands above her head, she removed her burgundy top and slipped on the pajama top. After she had finished changing she cleaned her teeth and brushed her hair, then fell into bed. She was literally exhausted from lack of good sleep and the fact that she had fought the recurring headache all day. Her eyes, heavy with sleep, succumbed to the urge to close, and she drifted off into the land of slumber and dreams.

Archer finished brushing his teeth and looked in the mirror. Grimacing at his unkempt reflection, he ran a brush through his hair. "That's better." He said to his doppelganger in the mirror. He reached for his razor and shaving cream. Lathering up his face, he put the razor to his neck and pulled upward. He gasped as he realized he was pressing just a little too hard and was startled to see a red line of blood appear on his neck and run down his chest. He ripped the razor away from his skin and bit back the urge to howl in pain as he saw a huge gash in his skin where the razor had cut.

Quickly, he turned the water on and cupped his hand under, gathering water, which he splashed on the wound. The water made the shaving lather run down and onto his gash and he hissed in response. Blood gushed from the slash and he grabbed a towel and pressed it to the cut. The white towel quickly turned red with blood. The stupid gash wouldn't stop bleeding. "Dammit!!" he yelled out at no one in particular.

He ran out of the bathroom and to his closet. Throwing on a t-shirt, he left his quarters, still holding the towel to the gushing wound. He sprinted to the turbolift and pressed the button for E deck, for sickbay. He checked the bleeding again, before exiting the lift. It had slowed a bit, but was still bleeding profusely. Entering sick bay, he looked around.

"Doctor?" He called out, when he didn't see Phlox anywhere.

Phlox suddenly appeared from behind a curtain, he was holding some furry creature in his hand.

"Yes, Captain. What can I do for you?" He smiled and then sobered when he noticed the blood drenched towel.

"I, uh, cut myself, while I was shaving." Archer explained.

"Oh my. Hold on one moment." Phlox said and dropped the furry creature into a cage, where something quickly gobbled the creature up.

Phlox turned back to Archer and lifted the towel off the wound.

"Well, yes I would say you did give yourself a good cut." Phlox said and reached for his antibacterial wash.

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking, and I pressed it a little too hard." He winced as Phlox administered the liquid bandage.

"Well, you should be good as new. It wasn't very deep, merely a scratch." Phlox smiled.

"Didn't feel like a scratch." Archer grumbled and rubbed at the odd feeling bandage.

"Really, Captain, you should stop using that archaic straight razor. There are much simpler and safer items out there, and you wouldn't cut yourself as much anymore."

"It was my great-great-great grandfathers. If it was good enough for him, it's good enough for me." Archer grumbled

Phlox started putting away his instruments, shaking his head at the Captains stubbornness. .

"How is the Sub-Commander feeling?" He asked, making conversation.

"Fine, I guess. She didn't seem like she was in pain, except for a second on the bridge. The hypospray must have worked." Archer said.

"That's good. I hope she can sleep well tonight." Phlox said and turned back towards Archer. "Well if that is all Captain, I must feed my 'critters'." He smiled his wide smile.

Archer nodded and bid him goodbye and walked back to his quarters.

Absently, he wondered what Phlox had meant when he said that he hoped T'Pol could sleep well tonight. Shaking his head, he just chocked it up to some side effects of the medicine Phlox had administered to her.

Yawning, he crawled into bed and fell soundly asleep.

The desert sun beat down on her and the wind whipped sand in her face. She looked up and turned around. If she was one to let her emotions betray her, she would say she was getting aggravated with this.

Her blood ran hot, and she was sweating copiously. She wiped her sweat from her forehead and chest. As a single bead of sweat ran down between her breasts, she heard the voice. Turning quickly, she caught glimpse of a shadow in the distance. Building up her strength, she ran towards it, rubbing her temples as the blood rushed in her ears causing her head to pound. She would not stop until she found out who was calling her name, no matter how much she just wanted to curl up on the ground and cry.

"T'Pol....." The wind seemed to breathe and the land seemed to pulse in tandem with her heart beat. She licked her cracked lips and swallowed, wetting her dry throat.

"Is someone there?" She called out.

"T'Pol." A voice called from behind her.

She whirled around to face the source of the voice and her eyes widened slightly as she took in his appearance.

"Koss?" She spoke his name.

"T'Pol. I need you. Why aren't you here?" He shook with the force of his anger and sadness, and she felt a wash of emotions, and something deeper, more primal, but not unpleasant, roll over her.

"I dissolved our bond, Koss. It was the most logical thing to do since I am a part of Enterprise and you cannot leave Vulcan." She explained, tamping down on her sudden arousal.

"I need you!" He yelled and a flood of desire rushed over her.

She fell to her knees in front of him. A single tear escaped from her eye as she looked back up at him. Never before in her life had she felt so many emotions at one time. Anger, betrayal, sadness, but above all an undercurrent of pulsating desire.

"T'Pol, you knew I would need you. Why did you leave? WHY?" He screamed his rage. She closed her eyes as another wave of pain and pleasure wafted over her.

Drawing a ragged breath, she choked out. "I'm s..sorry, Koss."

"You should be!" He yelled as everything turned to black.

T'Pol sat straight up in bed gasping for air. She felt a residual effect of arousal pulsing through her veins and quelled the feeling down until she could only feel the lightest of touches from it.

Standing she made her way over to her computer console. Writing out the short, but to the point, letter in Vulcan, she sent it out over secure channels.

Hopefully she would hear back from them soon. If what she believed was happening, she needed to know....and soon.

Hoshi sat at her station listening to the endless silence of space. When she signed up for this mission, she had known there would be boring days, but for the past couple of days, there hadn't been much going on, except for yesterday when they had watched the archaic shuttle leave the Vulcan-like planet. Other than that, zip, nadda, nothing. She was so bored, and listening to the faint beeping of the people around her working in one ear, and the silent sounds of space in the other, were threatening to lull her to sleep. Squeezing her eyes shut, she blinked away any sleepiness. She looked down at her console and saw a light blinking. There was a transmission coming in. She clicked on the icon to bring it up. Noting the Urgent label and the recipient of the letter, she turned to look at T'Pol. "Sub-Commander, I'm getting a transmission coming in for you marked Urgent." She articulated, trying to make herself sound proper. She always felt a little shadowed by the Vulcan woman.

"Thank you Ensign." T'Pol said and turned to the captain. "If I may, can I have it transferred to your ready room and read it there?"

Archer nodded. "Sure. Take your time. Nothings going on out here anyway." He heaved a sigh.

T'Pol turned back to Hoshi. "If you will, Ensign." She said, and made her way to the captain's ready room.

Hoshi went through the appropriate motions and transferred it, as per T'Pol's request, absently wondering as she did so, what was so urgent?

T'Pol sat down at the captain's desk and moved to open the transmission. Her fingers hovered over the key and she trembled slightly. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, and pressed the button. A short beep and the screen flickered, bringing up the old Vulcan letters she had missed seeing.

She swallowed as she read the inscribed type, then sent a short reply thanking Koss' family for the quick response. What she had feared...no not feared, suspected, was true. Koss, her former bond mate, was going through the Pon Farr.

Archer looked up as T'Pol walked back onto the bridge. She cast a small glance his way, and he read in her eyes a thousand questions. His brow knit together in a silent question, but she just walked to her station, and sat down, and began running her scans again. He looked out into the vast expanse of space before them and then back to T'Pol. Standing he looked over at his science officer. "Sub-Commander, may I speak with you in private?" He gestured to the door of his ready room.

She stood, without saying a word, and walked into his office. He followed behind her.

When the door had closed and he was sure of their privacy he turned to look at her. "What's going on?"

"What are you speaking of?" Her eyebrows rose.

"You know damned well what I'm talking about." He said, and watched as her eyebrows inched higher into her bangs at his choice words. "You get a message marked Urgent, and come out and not say a word. What's going on T'Pol?" He stressed the use of her first name, and not her title. He watched as her eyes watered a little and her face strained. A normal person would probably not notice this about her, but he had gotten good at reading her in the past few years. He took a step closer to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "T'Pol?" He whispered.

Her face softened for a split second, and then he saw the dam break as fire flared in her eyes. "Don't touch me." She yelled and swatted his hand away.

He took a step back, startled by her sudden outburst. Under his gaze, she was able to bring her emotions back into check.

"I'm sorry, Captain. I seem to be having trouble with my emotions. My ability to suppress them is...wearing thin." She said, sheepishly.

"It's alright. Do you know what's causing it?" He had never been on the receiving end of Vulcan anger, and he didn't like that Vulcan being his first officer. She was silent and was looking everywhere but at him. "You do. What's causing it?"

She stayed quiet.

"I need to know when my officers are going through something. I can't have someone running around that's not at their best. You obviously aren't. What's going on?"

She swallowed and pinned him with a gaze that, if he didn't know any better, was full of want, of desire.

He licked his lips and watched as her breathing became ragged. She couldn't possibly be...no...no way.

She took a step towards him, and emitted a soft growl as he took a step away. "T'Pol, what is going on?"

His voice seemed to snap her out of her reverie and she blinked.

"It's not something we are comfortable talking about with...others." She said and walked past him to look out the window.

Ah, the proverbial "We" as in, "We, Vulcans. Others, You." He sighed and took a step towards her.

"I need to know." He said.

"I know." She turned. "If I am to explain to you what is happening, you have to understand everything. It's very...personal." Her brow twitched.

He gestured to a chair. "Sit." He offered.

She took his suggestion and sat down. Pausing, she took a breath and, he realized, she was gathering her thoughts. "When Vulcan's are young, early childhood, most are bonded with a mate, telepathically. It is expected that as the children grow, the bond will strengthen and grow as well, until the two are ready to be bonded for forever, in a sense, a human wedding. Once the bond is strong, the Vulcan's can feel what their mate feels."

Archer nodded. "Okay." He said slowly, starting to worry about where this was headed.

"I was bonded. His name was Koss. I dissolved our bond when I decided to stay on Enterprise during our first year."

Archer let out a slight breath he had been holding. "Alright. I'm with you so far." He said, urging her on.

"Every seven years, a Vulcan goes through something called the Pon Farr. It is our mating cycle. When a bond mate enters pon farr, their mate, starts to feel the answering call to it, and begins to go through pon farr as well."

"Is that what you are going through? This pon farr? I thought you said you had dissolved the bond with Kess." Archer replied.

"Koss. His name is Koss. And, yes, I did dissolve it, but we are still...branded, into each other's mind. The transmission I received notified me that Koss is indeed, entering Pon Farr. I sent a transmission to his family last night and that was their reply."

"How did you know to send it to his family? How did you know that it wasn't you that was entering pon farr?" He asked.

"The last few nights, I have been having disturbing dreams. I was unable to understand them. Last night, Koss was there, and I suspected that to be the case. So I contacted his family to see." She took another breath.

"Okay. So now that we know the problem, we can find a solution. It shouldn't be too hard." Archer said, and placed his hand on her folded hands in her lap.

She looked down at his hand and then back up at him. "There is a problem, Captain. There is no solution. My situation is rather unique. I have no bond mate anymore, neither does Koss. I left him, and I knew this was going to happen. I wasn't sure it would be so soon, but I knew one day, one or both of us would enter the Pon Farr, but I decided to leave him and my responsibilities behind, choosing Enterprise over them." She cried, tears streaming down her face as her emotions overtook her.

Archer, not knowing what else to do, gathered her up into his arms. Her face buried itself into his neck as the sobs racked her body. "Shh...its okay. We'll find a cure." He rocked her, and whispered nonsense into her ear, trying to calm her.

Her muffled voice came from his chin, "There is no cure. The only sure way to relieve the pon farr is to mate."

He felt her move up and lay her head on his shoulder, her breath gently blowing against the tender skin of his neck and ear. Swallowing involuntarily, he felt her lips lightly dance over his neck. Pulling back, he looked her in the eye. "We can't do this, T'Pol."

"We have to. It's the only way. If I can't stop the pon farr, I will die." She said, fastening him with a smoldering gaze.

"What if Koss mates? Won't that stop your pon farr, since this isn't exactly yours, but just an offshoot of his?" Archer bumbled and bit his lip.

"I'm not sure. Like I said, this is a unique situation. I've never heard of anything about other dissolved bonds. As I said, we don't speak of this." She said and her fingers absently skimmed through the hair at the nape of his neck.

Archer swallowed again. What was he going to do?

Koss looked up from his place on the ground. He shuddered as another wave of arousal shot through him. The Vulcan sun beat down, warming his already overheated body. He shielded his eyes from it and pushed his body up with his arms. He felt so weak, so tired.

He stood up, brushing his hands off on his pants. Taking a tentative step ahead, he saw a figure in front of him. Gathering his strength he moved towards it.

The heat from the sun made the ground shimmer and move, creating illusions, but he could see the solid figure. It had to be a mirage.

"T'Pol..." He breathed and reached out for her.

She turned around, her eyes wide, a human _expression. He tamped down his feelings of anger. She had been around humans too long, choosing them over her bond with him, leaving him to suffer the Pon Farr alone.

"Koss?" She said his name in wonder.

Somewhere back in his mind he wondered how a mirage could communicate, but that thought was broken as another wave of desire shot through him, only making him angrier.

"T'Pol, I need you. Why aren't you here?" He asked, his anger palpable, but his sadness clenching his heart as well.

"I dissolved our bond, Koss. It was the most logical thing to do since I am a part of Enterprise and you cannot leave Vulcan." She said, making him shake with his disappointment and rage, but more importantly, his desire. Her voice only augmented his want.

"I need you!" He screamed at the hallucination.

He watched as she fell to her knees at his feet. Suddenly, he felt very terrible, for having yelled at her.

"T'Pol, you knew I would need you. Why did you leave? WHY?" He yelled, his anger and sadness hitting him with full force. She started to cry, and he realized his emotions and feelings were affecting her as well. Good, as it should be.

"I'm s...sorry, Koss." She stuttered.

He turned his face away "You should be."

When he looked back, she was no longer there, and he was once again, alone in the desert, alone until the end of his days.

Archer pulled himself away from T'Pol and stood up, pacing around his office. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to make the headache, that had suddenly popped up, subside. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't very well sleep with his science officer, his first officer, his subordinate, like she wanted him to, could he? Why did she even want him to? There were plenty of other men on board the ship she could have turned to.

Oh, he needed to just go somewhere and think, just get away from this situation. He looked over at her and almost melted when he was met with a heated gaze. "Do you think Phlox could give you a sedative or something until we figure out what we're going to do?" He asked desperately trying to fight his increasing arousal around her. "We already know what will cure it." She stated and stood, walking towards him. She reminded him of a tigress stalking her prey and he suppressed a groan when he realized HE was her prey.

Taking a deep breath he made a desperate attempt. "We don't even know that mating will make your pon farr subside since it's not yours to begin with."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Indeed, we don't." She fastened him with a hungry stare, a gleam in her eyes. "I'm willing to try though, aren't you?"

"As a last resort." He swallowed hard. "Let's get you to sickbay and see if Phlox can get you something to make the, uh, arousal," He reddened "...lessen." He grabbed her arm and pulled her out of his ready room. When the door opened onto the bridge, he let go of her arm and walked towards the lift, her following behind.

Hearing a few snickers from the bridge crew, he looked up to see her staring, rather intently, at his behind. He reddened and pulled her into the lift, sighing as the doors closed. Looking over his shoulder, he saw her glaring at him. He gulped and turned away.

Anger rose in her quickly as he pulled her into the lift. She tried to quell the emotion, but was unable to contain it. When he looked over at her, she glared at him. He was being illogical. They knew the problem, they knew the solution. It was very simple: mate or die. She didn't precisely know whether mating would calm to fever since it was Koss's and not hers, but it was the most logical step. A sedative to ease the symptoms, would only delay the inevitable. However, he was her captain, so she must follow his orders, no matter how illogical they were.

The lift stopped and he gestured for her to leave before him. She almost smiled. He obviously didn't want her looking at his backside again.

She stepped off the lift and walked towards sickbay, adding just a little more sway to her hips. She moved her shoulders sensuously, and brought her arms around to clasp behind her back, pushing her chest out forward, making her breasts seem larger. Human males seemed to have an affinity towards the female form, most particularly the breasts and buttocks area. Since he seemed so intent on punishing her and making her suffer, she might as well make him suffer as well. She heard him groan at her actions, and let a small smile form on her lips.

Phlox looked up from his notes as the doors to sickbay whooshed open. His eyes widened slightly as Sub-Commander T'Pol walked in swaying her hips rather suspiciously, the Captain, blushing, following behind. She turned back to the Captain behind her, then turned back, looking straight at Phlox. He rose from his chair and walked over to them. "Captain, Sub-Commander, what brings you two here." He smiled.

Archer cleared his throat before opening his mouth to answer. "It seems that the Sub-Commander is going through her, uh, mating cycle, early and we were hoping that you might have a solution." He made a face and looked down.

Phlox looked over at T'Pol. She had a definite gleam in her eyes, and they looked slightly unfocussed.

"What exactly are you experiencing?" He asked, running a scanner over her.

"My emotions are harder to suppress, weakened strength, heightened arousal." She stated simply.

"Ah" Phlox remarked and grabbed a hypospray. "This should allay any symptoms at the moment, but I'm not entirely sure for how long." He paused. "I had a Vulcan colleague on Earth that went through the Pon Farr, but if I recall correctly, the treatment is highly easy and effective." Phlox grinned.

"Indeed it is, Doctor." T'Pol replied, fastening the Captain with a gaze.

Archer drew his lips into a thin line and looked everywhere but at the two of them.

"Ah, I see. Well then, I will see what I can come up with. In the meantime, you might want to go back to your quarters; the sedative I administered will put you to sleep rather quickly." Phlox said and moved back over to his desk, intent on contacting his old colleague to see if there was any medication that would help T'Pol.

He grinned as the doors closed behind the Captain and the Sub-Commander. If what he remembered of his colleague was similar to all Vulcan females, the Captain certainly had quite an adventure ahead of him.

Archer walked side by side with T'Pol, accompanying her to her quarters, just in case the medicine kicked in too soon. As they neared her door, she swayed slightly and he touched her arm, to keep her from falling. She looked down at his hand on her arm and then raised her eyes to meet his. She looked so vulnerable, so sad and he had the urge to gather her up into his arms and never let go. "Are you tired?" He asked, keeping his voice low.

"Yes. I believe the medication is starting to work." She mumbled, her eyes drooping slightly.

They stopped as the door to her quarters opened and she walked in. "Alright, well you just go on in and take a nap. If you need me, I'll be on the bridge." He said and smiled a small smile. He stood and watched her stumble to the bed then shut her door and made his way back to the bridge. Shaking his head, he walked onto the bridge, asking for a report as he sat down.

"Nothing to report, sir." Lieutenant Reed said.

"Great." Archer grumbled and sighed, settling in for a boring day.

T'Pol tossed and turned in her sleep. Sweat beaded on her brow and she moaned.

The desert was dark, very dark.

T'Pol looked up into the familiar sky seeing the old constellations her father had pointed out when she was a young child. She had grown to think them illogical, but now that she looked up at them, she saw what her father had tried to show her. It wasn't so much the images the stars were supposedly forming, but the fact that everyone needs to have a little imagination, an ability to jump to far-fetched conclusions in hope of finding some answers. She turned and looked at the sleeping man beside her. Koss lay on his side in the sand, his hair slightly blowing in the wind.

Why was she here with him? She understood the fact that she was dreaming of him because of his current condition, but why here? Why this place? Why the desert? She took a deep breath and turned to watch the barren land before her. Hearing a moan, she turned back to him to see his eyes open.

"T'Pol?" He murmured, and scrubbed his eyes.

"Yes, it is I." She whispered and moved closer to him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked and sat up; making her groan as another wave of need ran through his veins and pulsated into hers.

She shuddered and licked her lips.

"Koss, why are we here, in the desert?" She asked and closed her eyes when he fastened his hungered gaze on her.

"I left home. When I realized what was happening, and that I had no bond mate, I came out here." He said and reached for her.

She drew back from him.

"Why did you come out here?" She asked staying out of his reach. She could not allow him to touch her, for then, her resistance would be decimated.

"I came out here, to die." He said, and then curled up into a tight ball and cried.

She gaped at him, and then he was gone.

T'Pol opened her eyes and quickly ran to her comm. Pressing the button, she paged the bridge.

"T'Pol to Captain Archer." Her voice held a note of urgency to it and Archer jumped out of his chair.

"Archer here. What is it T'Pol?" He asked worriedly.

"I need...to speak...with you." Came the haggard response.

"I'm on my way, Archer out. Lieutenant Reed, you have the bridge." Archer said and rushed to the lift, completely missing Reed's affirmative response.

Pressing the button for C-Deck, he cursed the lift for not going fast enough. Finally he arrived at C-Deck and jumped off the lift, and sprinted towards her quarters. He opened her door, without permission, and stumbled in looking around for her. Spotting her sitting at her desk he kneeled down in front of her.

"What's wrong?" He asked noting her drawn _expression.

"Something is wrong with Koss. I had a dream. I believe he is dying." She explained, her face not betraying her emotions.

"What? A dream? How do you know he is dying?" Archer asked, completely confused.

"I am unsure. I just, have a feeling." She said, using the human phrase she had heard so many times.

"Have you contacted his family?" Archer asked.

"Yes, I sent a transmission after I paged you." She nodded.

"Well then, we'll just have to wait and see then." Archer sighed. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, slightly. The emotions aren't as close to the surface as before, and I don't feel as...aroused as I was feeling." She responded, the tips of her ears flushing slightly, Archer noticed and smiled.

"Well that's good." He grinned and stood up.

"I am somewhat unsure if it is good or not. It could mean that Koss is very close to death and that is why I am not feeling the effects as much anymore." She said.

"Do you always have to be so pessimistic?"

"I am just relating all the possible reasons." She answered.

"Well let's just be optimistic for right now. We'll deal with it as it comes." Archer said and sat down in a chair.

"Thank you, Captain. I'm uncertain what I would do without you."

He just smiled in response.

It had been a few hours since Archer had left her quarters, and yet still, she could sense his presence. Her need for him was increasing as each second passed by, and she knew in a short manner of time, her resolve would wear down to nothing. She hoped she would not make a fool of herself in front of her captain. She knew, however, that she would probably do something inappropriate if she were to be around him again. Her comm. went off and she rose to press the button. "T'Pol here," she announced.

"Sub-Commander, I'm getting a video transmission coming in for you. Shall I send it to your quarters," Hoshi's voice responded through the comm.

"Yes, please do Ensign," She answered and disconnected her end of the line. Making her way over to her console, she wondered who was calling her. As she sat down, she pressed the button and the screen flashed to life. She was surprised to see T'Kel, Koss' mother, on screen. "T'Kel," she said in greeting. "T'Pol. You do not look well," The older woman said, her silver brow rising up slightly, her eyes raking over T'Pol.

"No. I am experiencing the symptoms on the Pon Farr. I believe your son is going through it as well," T'Pol explained.

"Oh, so that is why you were inquiring as to how my son was faring," T'Kel said, pursing her lips in disgust. Obviously, T'Kel was not pleased with T'Pol's decision to dissolve the bond with her son and stay on Enterprise.

"Yes, it is. I was wondering, where is Koss," T'Pol blinked back her rising anger at T'Kel's superior attitude.

"It is none of your concern, anymore. The affairs of my son are his alone and not yours any longer," T'Kel berated.

"I understand that," T'Pol blinked, pausing for a moment to gather her thoughts. "I still would like to know what is happening to him. I know he is going through pon farr. I believe that is why I am suffering from it as well. We are still branded in each other, and it is affecting me. I need to know if he is doing anything to stop the pon farr." She paused again. "Or do you not know? Did he leave?"

T'Kel's eyes widened ever so slightly. "How did you know that," She questioned, anxiety lacing her voice.

"I believe I might know where he is. I have been having dreams the past few nights. Koss is in them with me. We are in a desert, alone. I'm not sure where, though."

T'Kel's mouth dropped open a little and she looked down. Raising her eyes to T'Pol she asked, "Do you think that is where he is? Do you believe he is in a desert alone?"

"Yes, T'Kel, I do. I think I might be able to help you find him. I need to know, though, if we can find him, is there someone who would be willing to assist him in his Pon Farr," T'Pol asked.

"Yes, his father and I had found a new bond mate. She is not like you, though, but she will suffice. Are you certain you know where he is?"

"I will help you in anyway I can. I'll contact you later," T'Pol said, raising her hand in the comfortable gesture. "Mene Sakkhet Ur-Seveh, T'Kel. Live Long and Prosper."

T'Kel held her hand up as well. "And you as well, young T'Pol. I await your transmission. T'Kel out."

The screen blinked and then faded to black before T'Pol's eyes. So, she had been right. Koss was missing, and it was up to her to find him, even though she was far away from Vulcan. Sighing, she stood and made her way over to her bed. If she was going to find him, she must first reach out to him in dreams.

Archer paced back and forth in his quarters. He couldn't believe the fact that T'Pol was somehow still linked with her bond mate, ex bond mate, boyfriend, whatever the hell he was. Not to mention the fact that this link was bringing on her mating cycle and that no matter how much he tried, he couldn't get the image of her gaze out of his mind. He let out an aggravated growl and raked his hands through his hair. He had been sitting on the bridge when the transmission had come through for her. He knew that it would be Koss' family and that T'Pol would be finding out whether her theory was correct. Believing that she would call for him once she received the news, he let it go. Obviously, he had been wrong. After an hour of not hearing from her, he left the bridge and went to his quarters, where he had been pacing for the last twenty minutes. He didn't want to push her into telling him anymore than he already had, but damnit, he deserved to know what was going on with her because he...he...loved her? No that wasn't it, was it? Screwing up his courage, he resolved himself to give her ten more minutes and then, he was going to her quarters and demand some answers...even if the symptoms of her Pon Farr had worsened.

Koss watched the setting sun sink below the horizon. Looking around, he decided that he had picked the perfect place to come and live out the last of his days. He looked at the familiar outcroppings of rocks that he had been fascinated with as a child. Five separate rocks curled out of the ground reminding him of fingers reaching out of the sandy depths of the desert floor and trying to touch the stars. He sat in the middle of them, feeling as if he was sitting in the palm of Vulcan's hand. Closing his eyes, he allowed another sharp pain of desire surge through his body, searching for an answer somewhere. Yet there would be no answer, just more and more pain and arousal until finally his body shut down from the elevated hormonal levels. He leaned back; laying down on the ground looking up as a few faint stars fought their way through the darkening sky so he could see them. Another surge racked his body and he shut his eyes, the last thing he saw, a shooting star brightening up the sky and soaring over the rock fingers.

It was cold, very cold. T'Pol shivered as a wind blew by her, making her fold her arms round her body in hopes of keeping some of the body heat that was slowly seeping out. She looked around. Where was Koss? Why couldn't she find him? "Koss," She yelled into the dark night.

Suddenly she saw a form in the distance. Recognizing it, she ran towards it. The familiar finger-like rocks jut up from the ground towards the heavens. As she approached, she felt a dull flow of want rush over her, not nearly as apparent as before. She blinked her eyes, washing the sand from them, and widened them at the sight before her.

Koss lay on the ground in the middle of the fingers, not moving at all.

She was too late.

Koss felt a presence approach him. He was loathe to move, but he opened his eyes anyway. Seeing her figure shimmer into his line of sight, he took a deep breath, letting the air expand his lungs completely. Releasing a huge breath, he moved to sit up. It was so hard. He could barely move. He was so weak. "T'Pol," he rasped.

She moved silently towards him, laying her hand on his shoulder, pressing him back down so he was lying on the ground once more. "I am here Koss. How bad is it," She asked.

"I feel I don't have much longer. I can feel the blood fever shutting down my organs," he replied.

"How long do you believe you have," she asked.

"Perhaps a day, a day and a half at most," he replied, coughing.

"Why are you letting this happen? Please do not let yourself die this way. Go home," She pleaded.

"I cannot. I am without honor, now. I chose to do this. This is how it must be," he reasoned.

"That is illogical! There is no honor in dying this way," She cried.

He shook his head and swallowed. He couldn't return home now, he had dishonored his family by leaving, by being a coward.

"You're mother wishes for you to return," T'Pol whispered.

"How do you know that? You are just a figment, a hallucination," Koss blurted.

The vision of T'Pol shook her head. "I am not a hallucination. I am real," she argued.

Koss furrowed his brow. What was she talking about? She could not be real. She was on Enterprise, he on Vulcan. "I do not understand," He said.

"I am unable to explain it, but trust me that I am here just as much as you are," She reached out and touched his cheek. "Feel my touch. I am real."

Unable to contain his emotion any longer, he let the tears come. It was so unfair; he wished she really was there.

"I just want to go home," He cried, upset with himself for feeling lonely and scared.

"It is all right, Koss. I'm with you," T'Pol said, running her fingers through his hair.

He looked at her and closed his eyes. Her presence made the palpitations of his heart, and his labored breathing feel better. When he opened his eyes again, she was gone and the sun was rising. He sat and watched it ease above the horizon on his last day. He knew today was his end. He cried.

T'Pol sat at her desk waiting for T'Kel to acknowledge her call. Suddenly the screen blinked and T'Kel appeared before her, looking tired and haggard. "T'Pol, you have something to relay to me," T'Kel acknowledged, not bothering with greetings.

"Yes, I believe I know where you son is located," She said.

T'Kel visibly relaxed. "Where," she asked.

"In my dream, I saw him asleep in the "El'ru," the hand at the bottom of the mountain," T'Pol explained, describing the rock formation outside of her old home city, the same city Koss lived in.

"The El'ru. Of course, that was where his father used to take him when he was young," T'Kel said out loud, though T'Pol believed she was most likely talking to herself. "Thank you T'Pol, I will contact you if we find him. T'Kel out," She said holding her hand up in the Vulcan greeting. The screen flashed once more as it turned black.

T'Pol stood up from her desk and walked to her door. Suddenly a wave of nausea overcame her, and she fell to the floor, panting.Another flash of pain swept through her body, and she suddenly became very aware that Koss was dying. "Please, hurry," She pleaded out loud, right before the darkness overtook her..

Archer looked over at the empty science station to his left for the tenth time in the last few minutes. He had been called to the bridge to go over a few security matters with Reed, and his concentration had been taken off of T'Pol and onto the matter at hand. Sighing out loud, he looked back at the view screen. He knew that T'Pol cherished her privacy, and that she did not want him near her as she was going through this Pon Farr, but he would at least appreciate her contacting the bridge, or himself, to let him know something was wrong.

Running his tongue over his teeth, he let out another loud, long sigh.

Hoshi turned around to look at him, an annoyed look on her face. "If you are that worried about her, why don't you go to her quarters to check on her," She suggested and turned back around before he could answer. She was right. He stood and made his way to the lift.

As soon as the doors closed, Travis looked over at Hoshi. "Thanks, his huffing was really getting on my nerves," Travis grinned.

"Yeah. Mine too," Hoshi smiled in response.

Koss took a deep breath, breathing getting harder after each breath. He silently wondered if each one would be his last. The Vulcan sun lay high in the sky, beating down on him. He shivered despite the heat. No longer did his body crave touch of a woman. No longer did he cry out in his desire. That was long gone. All that was left was the pain and anger and sadness: anger over his condition and sadness that he would soon be gone, just a memory to those who had known him. Would they even care? He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, this time harder than before. He couldn't feel anything anymore except for the heat and throbbing of his head. Silently he felt his organs give out one by one. He welcomed death and soon his breathing stopped and the blackness swallowed him whole.

The lift slowly made its way to C-Deck. Archer huffed his frustration and hit the button once again, irrationally thinking that it would make the lift go faster. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the doors opened. He was out of the lift before they even opened all the way. He walked towards T'Pol's suite with a fast pace. When he arrived he took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly to calm his rushing heart. Archer hit the button on T'Pol's keypad, signaling his arrival, and waited for her to answer. After a few seconds of no response, he tried again, pressing the button with more force then he had planned. When no response came again, he got worried and keyed in his overriding master pass code. The door swooshed open and he cried out at the sight that greeted his eyes. Tears sprang to his eyes.

There on the floor lay T'Pol, lifeless.

Archer ran to the comm unit in T'Pol's quarters and pressed it. "Archer to sickbay! Doctor Phlox, please prepare, I'm bringing T'Pol to you," He yelled out.

He ran over to T'Pol and picked her up, not even worrying about her weight. Holding her in his arms like a rag doll, he ran to the lift. Jumping on, he pressed the button for sickbay. The ride seemed like it took hours. He held T'Pol close to him trying to figure out if she was breathing. He couldn't tell. Oh God, what if she died? What would he do? The lift stopped and he ran down the hall to sickbay. Phlox rushed out to him, a scanner in his hand.

"What's going on," Phlox demanded.

"I don't know. I found her like this," Archer replied, holding back his tears.

"Let's get her on a table," Phlox suggested and moved with Archer as he set her down.

Phlox ran his scanner over her body. He looked up Archer, shaking his head. Archer, no longer able to hold back his sorrow, fell to the floor at her feet, sobbing. Phlox looked down at him and then back at the Sub-Commander. How had this happened?

T'Kel looked through the window of the small shuttle craft down to the barren floor of the wasteland below. The large finger formation came into view and she suppressed her urge to cry out in relief. "Set down next to it," She told the pilot and turned towards the doctor behind her. "Get ready." The old doctor nodded his head and grabbed his small box of medical supplies. The shuttle landed and T'Kel opened the hatch. She jumped out and looked around. A small figure lay in the middle of the hand. Koss. Looking back at the doctor, she took off running towards her son. When she stopped at his side, she dropped to her knees. The doctor approached and set his supplies down, reaching in for a scanner. He ran the scanner over the mans body. When the scanner registered no life signs, he took a hypospray out and injected Koss with its material.

The body lay still for a few seconds, then gasped and sputtered as it came back to life. "Koss," T'Kel cried.

"Mother," Koss rasped and choked back a cough.

"Let's get you back to the city, so we can end your Pon Farr." T'Kel grasped her son's hand and helped him up. Leaning him against her, she led him to the shuttle and back home.

Archer sat alone by T'Pol's side in the darkened sickbay. She had died, and she'd never know. He had only begun to realize the depth of his feelings for her. He had only just realized that he loved her, that he couldn't live without her. Now, she was gone and he would never get the chance to tell her. He was going to miss her so much, even her damn logic and stubbornness. He looked down at her hand enveloped in his much larger ones. A single tear dropped from his cheek onto their joined hands. His eyes shut involuntarily. He felt her hand twitch in his and darted his eyes open. Looking up at her face, he saw her eyes moving under her closed lids. Gasping, he rose and touched his hand to her cheek. Her eyes slowly opened and he smiled as they rested on him.

"Captain," She rasped.

"Oh my God," He cried and gathered her up in his arms, sitting on the side of her bed. She let him hold her, and surprised him, when she wrapped his arms around his waist.

"What happened," She asked, her voice hoarse.

He pulled back from her and moved his hands up to hold her face. Looking deeply into her eyes, he moved in and kissed her fully on the lips. She responded in kind. Pulling back once again, he let his tears fall once more.

"I thought I had lost you," He simply said.

"You will never lose me, Jonathan. Of that I am certain," She replied.

He smiled and pulled her back to him, holding her tightly, as if it was the last moment they had. He'd never take her for granted again.

2 Days Later

T'Pol looked at Phlox as he ran his scanner over her one last time. Shaking his head he looked up at her.

"You're hormonal levels have returned to almost normal. There isn't anything wrong with you. As far as I can tell you're back to your standard self," he said, pocketing his scanner. He turned to look at the man standing behind him. "I see no reason to keep her here any longer."

Archer visibly relaxed, heaving a sigh of relief. He smiled over at T'Pol, who seemed much better today than she had the past 2 days, ever since she had woken up after she had...died. He swallowed, still unable to believe that she had really died. It was a miracle. She was his miracle. Her bright eyes rested on him, and he could swear he saw a small smile form on her lips.

Phlox watched the small exchange between the two. Over the past few days he had seen a marked change in the way the two acted around each other. He smiled to himself and walked over to his desk to take down T'Pol's newest readings. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw Archer reach over and take T'Pol's hand and help her down off the bed. Smiling he turned back to his work, chuckling lightly after he heard them leave sickbay.

T'Pol was extremely aware of Archer's presence as he accompanied her to her room. She felt the light weight of his hand on her back, the heat seeping through warming her skin. The effects of the Pon Farr were completely gone, and she was unsure as to the reason. She didn't recall anything that had happened after her last transmission from T'Kel, and that was 3 days ago. She hoped everything was alright with Koss, and that her death and restoration did not mean that Koss had died. They stopped at the door to her quarters and she opened them, surprised slightly when Archer followed her in, the door closing behind them.

She flipped on the lights and her room illuminated. Looking over at her desk console, she noticed a light blinking. Making her way over to it, she felt Archer follow. Pressing the button, she watched as the message appeared. It was written in Vulcan. She quickly read it, her mouth opening to form an 'O' as she skimmed the contents. Archer bent down behind her and she shivered as his breath danced over the skin on the back of her neck.

"Who is it from," He asked.

"It is a communication from Koss. Apparently, his Pon Farr has ended. His mother was able to find him using the information I gave her and he was able to bond with another to conclude his Pon Farr. It seems that he had died in the wasteland outside his city but that a doctor was able to revive him." She turned towards him.

"So because he died, you did as well," Archer asked.

"It would appear so," She responded.

His arms reached out and he placed his hands on each side of her, resting them on the arm rests, encircling her. "Well then, I hope this never happens again," He said, his eyes shining at the memory of losing her.

"I trust that it won't. He now has a bond mate. I doubt that his Pon Farr will ever affect me again," She replied, looking at his lips.

"Good. I like that idea," Archer smiled. She raised her eyebrow in a silent question. "I don't like the idea of someone else affecting you in that way," He explained.

"Indeed," She said, moving closer to him. "Someone else?"

"Yes, someone else," He replied. He moved closer to her and brushed his lips over hers. She reached up and encircled his neck, pulling him closer. Reveling in his kiss, she realized that never again would she have to experience the wasteland of dreams. From now on, her dreams would be good.


End file.
